1
00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:02,200
Greetings and salutations.

2
00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:04,200
I'm sorry we can't meet
Face-to-face,

3
00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:06,800
But I do understand why.

4
00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:08,800
(oz) now if you're looking
 For top-notch security,

5
00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,767
There ain't a notch above
 My team here at contra.

6
00:00:10,767 --> 00:00:13,567
Banks, armored cars--we break
 In and test your security

7
00:00:13,567 --> 00:00:16,267
Before the bad guys can.
 There's melanie garcia,

8
00:00:16,267 --> 00:00:18,267
First-rate lock picker
 And surveillance expert.

9
00:00:18,267 --> 00:00:19,967
Target's on the move.

10
00:00:19,967 --> 00:00:22,667
We've got one shot at this job,
And failure is not an option.

11
00:00:22,667 --> 00:00:24,900
Cameron price--slickest hacker
On the west coast.

12
00:00:24,900 --> 00:00:28,233
I got this. And we're
In the city's traffic grid.

13
00:00:28,233 --> 00:00:29,633
Josh, you're good to go.

14
00:00:29,633 --> 00:00:31,867
Josh armstrong--
 Our master of disguise.

15
00:00:31,867 --> 00:00:33,667
Detouring the truck now.

16
00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:35,300
Now! Now, cash! Now! Go!

17
00:00:35,300 --> 00:00:37,033
(brakes squeal, tires screech)

18
00:00:37,033 --> 00:00:39,500
And there's cash,
 Our gadget man.

19
00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:42,600
The rabbit's in the trap!
It's either now or never!

20
00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:44,833
You ready?
Let's do this.

21
00:00:44,833 --> 00:00:47,633
I assure you there's
No better crew in the business.

22
00:00:47,633 --> 00:00:50,400
What the hell are you doing?!
We're gonna need one order

23
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:52,800
Of your delicious onion rings,
Stat!

24
00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:56,133
(cameron) come on!
We need them now!
Fry like the wind, woman!

25
00:00:56,133 --> 00:00:59,033
And the best part is...
Here's your lunch

26
00:00:59,033 --> 00:01:02,333
My team will do anything
I tell them.

27
00:01:02,333 --> 00:01:04,333
(michael wandmacher's
"We got your back" playing)

28
00:01:04,333 --> 00:01:06,800
* we got your back

29
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,200
* 9:00 to 5:00's
Never been this vicious *

30
00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:11,167
* under attack

31
00:01:11,167 --> 00:01:14,967
* and we're all up
In your business *

32
00:01:14,967 --> 00:01:18,633
* whoa, oh, oh, oh

33
00:01:18,633 --> 00:01:20,633
* we got your back

34
00:01:20,633 --> 00:01:22,133
**

35
00:01:22,133 --> 00:01:24,933
(oz) okay, work time.

36
00:01:24,933 --> 00:01:27,367
Now this morning, while you guys
Were out fiddling your diddles,

37
00:01:27,367 --> 00:01:30,167
I landed us a cush new gig.
We've been hired

38
00:01:30,167 --> 00:01:33,500
By some rich, crazy old lady
To test her home security.
(beep)

39
00:01:33,500 --> 00:01:35,567
There's a safe
Inside her living room.

40
00:01:35,567 --> 00:01:38,567
She wants to see if you guys can
Break in, crack it, and get out.
The suburbs?

41
00:01:38,567 --> 00:01:40,933
Don't we, like, do more
High-tech stuff here?

42
00:01:40,933 --> 00:01:44,433
I gotta agree, oz. Robbing
An old lady's child's play.

43
00:01:44,433 --> 00:01:48,833
Trust me. I know.
Thanks. Enjoy the cookies...

44
00:01:48,833 --> 00:01:50,933
While I enjoy your purse.

45
00:01:50,933 --> 00:01:52,733
You know,
Your childhood sounds fun.

46
00:01:52,733 --> 00:01:55,733
Mine was ravaged
By scoliosis.
Okay, enough chitchat.

47
00:01:55,733 --> 00:01:59,433
I want this job handled pronto.
Melanie, you're in charge.
(taps table)

48
00:01:59,433 --> 00:02:03,400
Uh, yeah, but I still haven't
Closed that bank job,

49
00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:07,000
So can't we please
Find another lead?
(cameron) I can do it.
I-I don't mind.

50
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:11,467
I mean, I-if it'll make
Your life easier or whatever.

51
00:02:11,467 --> 00:02:14,500
Oh, the new guy stepping up--
Me likey!

52
00:02:14,500 --> 00:02:18,700
I knight thee "Team leader."
There can be only one.

53
00:02:18,700 --> 00:02:20,633
Is that "Highlander"?

54
00:02:20,633 --> 00:02:22,633
Yes, it is,
And so is this sword.

55
00:02:22,633 --> 00:02:25,233
I won it off sir sean connery
In a heated game of beer pong.

56
00:02:25,233 --> 00:02:27,733
Instead of beer, we used scotch.
Instead of pong,

57
00:02:27,733 --> 00:02:30,667
We used rifles, so I guess
We sort of played scotch rifles.

58
00:02:30,667 --> 00:02:33,867
That's beside the point. I want
This job handled a.S.A.P.

59
00:02:33,867 --> 00:02:36,900
No questions.
Why so secretive?

60
00:02:36,900 --> 00:02:40,300
(beeping)
I-I know, but who's the old
Lady? Fine, but at least tell us

61
00:02:40,300 --> 00:02:42,733
What's in the safe.
Any carnival psychic

62
00:02:42,733 --> 00:02:45,667
Could come up with
Generic sentences like that.

63
00:02:45,667 --> 00:02:48,233
(beeping continues)

64
00:02:48,233 --> 00:02:52,767
Oh, and, cameron...

65
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,400
(melanie chuckles)
Ooh.

66
00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:59,600
Hey,
Thank you for volunteering.

67
00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:02,267
Seriously, you just made
My life way easier.

68
00:03:02,267 --> 00:03:05,233
Ah, least I could do.
(cell phone vibrates)

69
00:03:08,067 --> 00:03:11,833
How does he know
What we're saying?
Yeah, oz reads lips.

70
00:03:11,833 --> 00:03:14,167
Of course he does.

71
00:03:14,167 --> 00:03:16,133
Have a seat, cupcake.

72
00:03:16,133 --> 00:03:18,200
Just wanna make sure
My trusted team leader

73
00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:22,333
Took the job
For all the right reasons.
Yeah, figured
It was an easy job,

74
00:03:22,333 --> 00:03:24,933
Might as well get another "W"
Under my belt.

75
00:03:24,933 --> 00:03:26,633
That "W"
Stand for "Whipped"?

76
00:03:26,633 --> 00:03:28,333
Whipped? By melanie?

77
00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:30,433
Hilarious. (chuckles)

78
00:03:30,433 --> 00:03:33,333
Thanks for dogsitting charlie
This weekend.

79
00:03:33,333 --> 00:03:35,100
Least I could do.

80
00:03:35,100 --> 00:03:39,633
(growling)
And he's done.

81
00:03:39,633 --> 00:03:42,667
It's none of your business.
Your business is my business.

82
00:03:42,667 --> 00:03:45,333
You're my star hacker.
I need you focused.

83
00:03:45,333 --> 00:03:48,033
Don't get involved
With difficult women.

84
00:03:48,033 --> 00:03:49,833
It won't end well. Trust me.
(clank)

85
00:03:49,833 --> 00:03:52,767
I've dated some daffy doozies
In my day. But you're not me,

86
00:03:52,767 --> 00:03:55,233
So I'm gonna solve
Your little melanie situation

87
00:03:55,233 --> 00:03:57,333
With
A little patented oz wisdom.

88
00:03:57,333 --> 00:03:58,967
Move on, muchacho!

89
00:03:58,967 --> 00:04:02,033
She's too much woman for you,
And she has a boyfriend.

90
00:04:02,033 --> 00:04:04,933
Who happens to be
A sketchy mega douche.

91
00:04:04,933 --> 00:04:07,233
(dutch) melly bean!

92
00:04:07,233 --> 00:04:10,533
(melanie) dutch!
Hey.

93
00:04:10,533 --> 00:04:13,467
Something wrong?
Yeah, something's wrong.

94
00:04:13,467 --> 00:04:16,400
I forgot to kiss you good-bye
This morning.

95
00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:18,600
I can't start my day
Without it.

96
00:04:22,700 --> 00:04:24,067
(whispers) oh, my god.

97
00:04:24,067 --> 00:04:26,733
Wow. You are boned.
(whimpers)

98
00:04:31,500 --> 00:04:34,000
Our target--2358 james drive.

99
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:37,433
Here's the plan.
It's real complicated stuff.

100
00:04:37,433 --> 00:04:40,133
Our entry point will be...

101
00:04:40,133 --> 00:04:41,800
(beeping)
The door.

102
00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:43,800
Mel will crack
The old lady's safe,

103
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:46,567
Cash will score us some
Lemon bars from the kitchen,

104
00:04:46,567 --> 00:04:49,400
And then the big finale--
We leave before she's back

105
00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:51,067
From her early-bird dinner.

106
00:04:51,067 --> 00:04:54,267
That brings us to the next part
Of our plan--today's lunch.

107
00:04:54,267 --> 00:04:56,400
Paninis on me.

108
00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:58,033
Technically, it's panino.

109
00:04:58,033 --> 00:04:59,933
See, "Panini" is plural.

110
00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:02,567
Many panini, one panino.

111
00:05:02,567 --> 00:05:03,800
So now you know.

112
00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:07,700
This is why you get no"Vagino."
So now you know.

113
00:05:07,700 --> 00:05:09,067
Shut it.

114
00:05:09,067 --> 00:05:12,800
You haven't even noticed
That hot-tay with the latte...

115
00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:14,900
Totally eye-humping you again.

116
00:05:14,900 --> 00:05:16,733
Damn it.
I hate when oz is right.

117
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:20,167
I mean, I am too fixated
On melanie. Look at that girl.

118
00:05:20,167 --> 00:05:22,533
Okay, here's what we do.

119
00:05:24,167 --> 00:05:26,000
We follow her out to her car
When she leaves,

120
00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:28,700
Get her license plate number,
Take that to the d.M.V.,

121
00:05:28,700 --> 00:05:30,700
Get her name, hack into
Her e-mail account,

122
00:05:30,700 --> 00:05:32,700
Find out what type
Of bedsheets she likes,

123
00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:35,500
Then we buy a set. Now here's
Where it gets a little weird--

124
00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:39,000
We're gonna need
A sample of her hair.
Why don't I just
Go talk to her?

125
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,833
Like in chatroulette?
In person?

126
00:05:41,833 --> 00:05:44,733
(whispers) that's ballsy.
Cam, that's too ballsy.

127
00:05:44,733 --> 00:05:46,467
Cam.

128
00:05:46,467 --> 00:05:48,000
Hey.
Hi.

129
00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:49,467
You need some help?

130
00:05:49,467 --> 00:05:51,733
Oh, this happens
All the time.

131
00:05:51,733 --> 00:05:54,733
It's an old computer.
I just need to get another one.

132
00:05:54,733 --> 00:05:58,367
Or I can help you
Clean up your registry.

133
00:05:58,367 --> 00:05:59,400
Okay.

134
00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:00,833
(chuckles)
(chuckles)

135
00:06:00,833 --> 00:06:02,167
Here.

136
00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:06,033
Okay.

137
00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:08,667
Now you're back into...

138
00:06:08,667 --> 00:06:10,267
Yeah,

139
00:06:10,267 --> 00:06:12,067
Dying of embarrassment.

140
00:06:12,067 --> 00:06:14,767
But for the record, I haven't
Officially signed up yet.

141
00:06:14,767 --> 00:06:17,767
I don't know. 50 bucks a month
Seems kinda high to meet

142
00:06:17,767 --> 00:06:20,967
Some divorced guy looking
For a pity bang, you know?
Yeah, totally.

143
00:06:20,967 --> 00:06:22,867
Check this out.
(whirring)

144
00:06:22,867 --> 00:06:25,067
Site's free,
Your profile's invisible,

145
00:06:25,067 --> 00:06:26,867
And now you get more bang
For your buck.

146
00:06:26,867 --> 00:06:32,167
That is the coolest/uncoolest
Thing I've ever seen.

147
00:06:32,167 --> 00:06:35,267
Thank you. I work in security.
I hack for a living.

148
00:06:35,267 --> 00:06:37,267
You're kidding.
What a coincidence.

149
00:06:37,267 --> 00:06:39,867
I hack plaque. I'm a dentist.
Oh.

150
00:06:39,867 --> 00:06:41,867
And in
My professional opinion,

151
00:06:41,867 --> 00:06:44,100
You have a very nice smile.

152
00:06:44,100 --> 00:06:47,400
Nice line.
I assume you've used it before?

153
00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:50,233
Uh, just with the guys
I wanna drill in my chair.

154
00:06:50,233 --> 00:06:52,333
Yeah,
That didn't come out right.

155
00:06:52,333 --> 00:06:55,567
No. No, I got it.
Sex, right?

156
00:06:55,567 --> 00:06:57,600
(chuckles)
I'm amy, by the way.

157
00:06:57,600 --> 00:07:00,333
Cam. Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you, too.

158
00:07:00,333 --> 00:07:02,767
Amy is amazing.
She's smart. She's funny.

159
00:07:02,767 --> 00:07:05,767
She listens to me. She's--
Too good to be true.

160
00:07:05,767 --> 00:07:09,567
Okay, what's the catch here?
A wonky eye? Baby arm?
No.

161
00:07:09,567 --> 00:07:12,300
Testicles?
No. I mean,
Maybe she's a little older

162
00:07:12,300 --> 00:07:15,067
Than the girls I usually date,
But I like that.

163
00:07:15,067 --> 00:07:17,267
No drama, no humping dogs.
It's awesome.

164
00:07:17,267 --> 00:07:20,267
Okay, I know it is, man.
Older woman. That cougar.

165
00:07:20,267 --> 00:07:24,200
(hisses) oh, my boy is
Tappin' the grave!

166
00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:26,533
* tappin' the grave, oh *

167
00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:28,900
Uh, no.
* tappin' the grave *

168
00:07:28,900 --> 00:07:31,533
All right, cash.
I... Yeah.
* tappin' the grave,
Tappin' the grave *

169
00:07:31,533 --> 00:07:34,300
* open the coffin
Hey, who's tappin' the grave?

170
00:07:34,300 --> 00:07:38,267
No--no one. No one.
No one is tapping anything.
No, no. He's doing
The "Tappin' the grave" dance.

171
00:07:38,267 --> 00:07:39,667
That's what's up.

172
00:07:39,667 --> 00:07:42,000
Wait a second.
Are you the tapper?

173
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,967
No.
You tappin'!

174
00:07:43,967 --> 00:07:46,800
I don't even...
Come on! I'm proud of you!
Get in there!

175
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:50,667
Yeah, you little devil!
Okay, all right.
All right, enough tap talk.

176
00:07:50,667 --> 00:07:53,833
I think oz would rather
Us focus on the job

177
00:07:53,833 --> 00:07:56,200
And--and--and not my love life.
That's--yeah.
* ooh, the tapper

178
00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:59,033
* the tapper
Tappin' that grave *
* tappin' *

179
00:07:59,033 --> 00:08:02,767
* tappin' the grave, tappin'
The grave, open the coffin *
You dirty, rotten,
Filthy scoundrel.

180
00:08:02,767 --> 00:08:04,567
I am so proud of you.

181
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:06,867
Excuse me?
I hear you got a new squeeze.

182
00:08:06,867 --> 00:08:10,200
Come on, what's she like?
She have arthritis in the hands?
I don't--

183
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:12,433
That's my colorful way
Of saying "Big boobs."

184
00:08:12,433 --> 00:08:15,633
Wait. Where did you hear
About that?
Same way I hear about
Everything in this office--

185
00:08:15,633 --> 00:08:18,733
The old water cooler cam.
You're never
At the water cooler.

186
00:08:18,733 --> 00:08:20,633
No, no, no.
I have a water cooler cam.

187
00:08:20,633 --> 00:08:23,733
So long story short,
 The doctor got it out,

188
00:08:23,733 --> 00:08:25,733
And I get to be
 In a medical journal.

189
00:08:25,733 --> 00:08:29,600
Hmm.
That is a complete and utter
Invasion of our privacy.

190
00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:32,700
Yes. Yes, it is,
But I invade because I care.

191
00:08:32,700 --> 00:08:35,133
Speaking of which, I'm glad
You finally took my advice

192
00:08:35,133 --> 00:08:38,133
And moved on from melanie.
No, look,
I really like this girl.

193
00:08:38,133 --> 00:08:41,733
I'm not with her
'cause I took your advice.
Well, you should start.

194
00:08:41,733 --> 00:08:44,867
Let's class things up a little,
Peanut. Here, take this shirt.

195
00:08:44,867 --> 00:08:47,233
It'll really make
Those baby blues pop.

196
00:08:47,233 --> 00:08:50,100
No, I don't--
Oh, that is so soft.

197
00:08:50,100 --> 00:08:53,633
And this--
Chilean wild orchids--

198
00:08:53,633 --> 00:08:55,233
Very, very rare.

199
00:08:55,233 --> 00:08:57,933
(sniffs) smells so good.
Thank you.

200
00:08:57,933 --> 00:09:00,100
That's how I bedded mrs. Oz,

201
00:09:00,100 --> 00:09:02,033
The she-beast.

202
00:09:02,033 --> 00:09:04,000
Now you go
And bust into that safe.

203
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,633
I'm gonna get back
To my stories.
(pats back)

204
00:09:06,633 --> 00:09:11,267
(cameron) all right, guys,
Let's rob this old lady.
(cash)
To grandmother's house we go.

205
00:09:13,367 --> 00:09:17,700
No way.
Grandma's making this
Too easy.

206
00:09:17,700 --> 00:09:19,800
Oh, nice!
We'll be in and out...

207
00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:23,567
(electricity crackling,
Alarm blaring)
Can't let go! Insides burning!

208
00:09:23,567 --> 00:09:25,033
Someone help me!

209
00:09:25,033 --> 00:09:26,567
Ooh! I should've
Thought this through!

210
00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:29,567
I'll cut the power.
Don't panic.

211
00:09:29,567 --> 00:09:34,033
Aah! Aah! Panic!
Panic as hard as you can!

212
00:09:34,033 --> 00:09:35,900
(hiss)
(grunts)

213
00:09:35,900 --> 00:09:37,900
(grunts)
(cash) the house is alive!

214
00:09:37,900 --> 00:09:39,067
(hiss)

215
00:09:39,067 --> 00:09:42,000
So not good.

216
00:09:46,700 --> 00:09:48,500
(lowered voice) it's been
A rough job so far.

217
00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:50,633
Apparently this old lady's house
Is a geriatric fort knox.

218
00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:52,300
(lowered voice)
No, I'll tell you

219
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,567
What we're dealing with here--
Super villain.

220
00:09:54,567 --> 00:09:57,267
Okay, if we keep this up,
We're gonna be facing

221
00:09:57,267 --> 00:10:00,267
Her army of monkey assassins,
For real.
(lowered voice) seriously.

222
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:03,333
I mean, who the hell
Is this old woman?
(melanie, cash, and cameron
Chuckle)

223
00:10:03,333 --> 00:10:06,733
I lost my brows
In the line of duty.
(lowered voice) no, it's good.

224
00:10:06,733 --> 00:10:09,733
Brings out
Your huge forehead.
Don't even speak.

225
00:10:09,733 --> 00:10:12,000
We have been out there
Getting our asses kicked,

226
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:15,133
And you don't even have
A scratch on you.
I ripped my jeans.

227
00:10:15,133 --> 00:10:20,033
No, you bought 'em that way,
And they look great.
Guys, our job is to find flaws
In security systems, right?

228
00:10:20,033 --> 00:10:23,167
We'll just tell oz
This lady doesn't have any.

229
00:10:23,167 --> 00:10:26,933
It's good news
For the client.
No, are you crazy? You never
Tell oz you failed ever.

230
00:10:26,933 --> 00:10:29,933
We haven't failed.
I'm sure oz will under...

231
00:10:29,933 --> 00:10:31,133
(clang)
Stand.

232
00:10:31,133 --> 00:10:33,700
This is my subtle way
Of saying

233
00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:36,000
"Go and crack that safe."

234
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:38,367
(clang)

235
00:10:40,133 --> 00:10:42,133
Lord, that is hot.

236
00:10:42,133 --> 00:10:45,133
Aw, I bet you say that
To all the hackers.
I'm talking about the plates.

237
00:10:45,133 --> 00:10:48,800
The plates are hot.
They're hot.
Oh, uh, yes. Sorry. Sorry.

238
00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:52,267
Whew.
My boss has made it terrifyingly
Clear I can't screw up this job.

239
00:10:52,267 --> 00:10:54,467
Although I might've
Found a lead.

240
00:10:54,467 --> 00:10:58,400
Ooh, that sounds juicy.
Let me see.

241
00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:01,600
Yeah, I don't want
To bore you. Let's just...

242
00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:03,867
Let's just hang out,
You and me.

243
00:11:03,867 --> 00:11:05,167
(indistinct conversations)

244
00:11:05,167 --> 00:11:09,367
I...
Got you a little something.

245
00:11:09,367 --> 00:11:14,267
What's this?
I just thought it could help you
Make some tough decisions,

246
00:11:14,267 --> 00:11:16,200
You know?
Thank you.

247
00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:19,533
Well, don't thank me yet.
See if it works first.

248
00:11:19,533 --> 00:11:22,133
All right.

249
00:11:22,133 --> 00:11:24,600
Will I get lucky tonight?

250
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:25,733
(beep)

251
00:11:25,733 --> 00:11:27,733
Well, will you?

252
00:11:27,733 --> 00:11:30,133
No!

253
00:11:31,567 --> 00:11:35,400
We'rebreaking into
 Your house!

254
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:37,100
Popcorn shrimp?
I bought a fryer.

255
00:11:37,100 --> 00:11:39,267
I hacked into
The county records web site

256
00:11:39,267 --> 00:11:42,667
And found the architect who
Built the house, for you.
You know, it's never wise

257
00:11:42,667 --> 00:11:45,400
To yell at a man who could
Deep-fry your cojones.

258
00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:49,733
You said for us to break into
Some crazy old lady's house.
And you are.

259
00:11:49,733 --> 00:11:52,400
You're breaking into
 My old lady's house,

260
00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:55,300
And believe you me,
She is crazy.
Stop. Stop. For once, please
Just tell me what's going on,

261
00:11:55,300 --> 00:11:57,300
So I can do my job.

262
00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:59,300
Fine. I'm no fan of clichés,

263
00:11:59,300 --> 00:12:02,200
But I happen to be in one
Of the oldest stories there is.

264
00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:04,200
Man loves woman,
Man marries woman,

265
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:06,200
Woman turns out to be
An evil succubus

266
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:08,733
Looking for a fast divorce.

267
00:12:08,733 --> 00:12:11,767
Sorry.
Um, I didn't know that.
I could really use a hug.

268
00:12:11,767 --> 00:12:15,633
And I'd rather not be
Put in a sleeper hold.
Good! You're learning--
Never touch me.

269
00:12:15,633 --> 00:12:18,433
And you're manipulating us into
Helping you win your divorce.

270
00:12:18,433 --> 00:12:22,733
That's--that's not--
That's not our job.
It is now. That devil woman
Knows this company

271
00:12:22,733 --> 00:12:25,333
Is the most important thing
To me in my life.

272
00:12:25,333 --> 00:12:27,333
She wants it
Just to spite me.

273
00:12:27,333 --> 00:12:29,967
If I don't give it to her
In the divorce,

274
00:12:29,967 --> 00:12:32,500
She's gonna go public
With what's in that safe,

275
00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:37,133
And no one can ever see
What is in that safe.
Okay, well,
If it's your house,

276
00:12:37,133 --> 00:12:41,067
Why don't you tell me
How to break in?
I wish I knew.

277
00:12:41,067 --> 00:12:42,633
That praying mantis seems
To have learned

278
00:12:42,633 --> 00:12:44,900
A thing or two
About security from me,

279
00:12:44,900 --> 00:12:48,100
And she seems to always be one
Step ahead somehow.
You think there's a leak?

280
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:51,533
It's the only explanation.
(sighs)

281
00:12:51,533 --> 00:12:55,567
Amy knows too much.

282
00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:57,100
Amy.

283
00:12:57,100 --> 00:12:58,867
(knock on door)

284
00:12:58,867 --> 00:13:03,100
Amy, open up. I know you live
Here. Oz told me everything.

285
00:13:03,100 --> 00:13:07,667
Oh. Hey, cameron.

286
00:13:07,667 --> 00:13:09,433
I'm the leak.

287
00:13:09,433 --> 00:13:12,500
I'm--I'm the reason
I can't break into your house.

288
00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:15,033
And then we're gonna
Climb the trellis

289
00:13:15,033 --> 00:13:17,167
And break in
Through the skylight.
Mm.

290
00:13:17,167 --> 00:13:19,167
Thanks for being
Such a great listener.

291
00:13:19,167 --> 00:13:21,367
Thanks for being
Such a great talker.

292
00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:22,700
Lies.

293
00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:24,933
It was all lies.

294
00:13:24,933 --> 00:13:27,067
Are you even a dentist?
No.

295
00:13:27,067 --> 00:13:30,267
I flossed for you!
Honey,
You're supposed to floss.

296
00:13:30,267 --> 00:13:32,833
Oh, my god.
Played by my own girlfriend.

297
00:13:32,833 --> 00:13:34,300
(chuckles) whoa.

298
00:13:34,300 --> 00:13:37,267
It was only two weeks.
What are we, in second grade?

299
00:13:37,267 --> 00:13:40,800
Uh, no, it was
A very intense two weeks,

300
00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:44,067
And it was implied,
I mean, I thought.

301
00:13:44,067 --> 00:13:46,700
We didn't put a label--
I'm a relationship guy.

302
00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:49,600
Doesn't matter.
It's over forever.

303
00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:52,133
Oh, come on.

304
00:13:52,133 --> 00:13:55,133
We had a good time together,
Didn't we?

305
00:13:58,133 --> 00:14:00,833
(oz) fry your cojones.
 (dog barks)

306
00:14:00,833 --> 00:14:03,000
I gotta go.

307
00:14:03,900 --> 00:14:05,867
Good thing you called me, mel.

308
00:14:05,867 --> 00:14:08,500
We got ourselves
A serious grooming sitch here.

309
00:14:08,500 --> 00:14:10,667
Hey, would you
Stop squirming around?

310
00:14:10,667 --> 00:14:14,267
I can't manscape
A moving target.
Are you sure you know
What you're doing?

311
00:14:14,267 --> 00:14:16,667
They seem kinda high.
Uh, he looks dumb.

312
00:14:16,667 --> 00:14:20,200
He looks interested.
Watch this.

313
00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:23,133
You know I ride a dune buggy?

314
00:14:23,133 --> 00:14:25,433
You see that? Huh?

315
00:14:25,433 --> 00:14:27,267
I know brows, broheim.

316
00:14:27,267 --> 00:14:29,267
And it doesn't stop there.

317
00:14:29,267 --> 00:14:31,667
Every night,
I trim the hedges.

318
00:14:31,667 --> 00:14:34,033
Oh.
It's like italian marble
Down there.

319
00:14:34,033 --> 00:14:35,867
(whispers) hey, cash.
Cash. Cash.

320
00:14:35,867 --> 00:14:38,933
You really
Should look at this.
Hey, man, I'm out.

321
00:14:38,933 --> 00:14:41,200
(dutch) it's not--you sure?
Yo, what's up?

322
00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:44,267
I need help, big-time.
Please.
I mean, we're friends.
Anything you need.

323
00:14:44,267 --> 00:14:46,900
What's the problem?
I kinda...

324
00:14:46,900 --> 00:14:48,867
Sort of...

325
00:14:48,867 --> 00:14:52,433
Definitely dated oz's wife.

326
00:14:53,967 --> 00:14:56,033
No. No, no.

327
00:14:56,033 --> 00:14:58,033
No, I didn't hear that.
I'm clicking "Unfriend."

328
00:14:58,033 --> 00:15:01,200
No, go away. Go away!
W-w-w-wait.
What are you doing? Wait.

329
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:02,733
Wait, cash. Wait. Wait.

330
00:15:02,733 --> 00:15:05,900
The man reads lips. I don't want
Him to kill me, too.

331
00:15:05,900 --> 00:15:08,133
Look, I was a pawn, okay?

332
00:15:08,133 --> 00:15:11,600
The old lady's house we're
Breaking into belongs to amy.
Cover your mouth, bitch!

333
00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:13,200
Look...

334
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:14,833
She is blackmailing oz.

335
00:15:14,833 --> 00:15:17,100
All right, we need to break
Into that safe,

336
00:15:17,100 --> 00:15:20,733
Steal whatever's there, and keep
This whole thing quiet.
Keep what quiet?

337
00:15:20,733 --> 00:15:22,000
Uh...

338
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,067
Our--our fantasy
Football league.
Yeah.

339
00:15:24,067 --> 00:15:27,433
Cash wasn't sure if you were
Cool with that kind of thing.

340
00:15:27,433 --> 00:15:31,900
Yeah. Wasn't even sure
About that.

341
00:15:31,900 --> 00:15:34,967
I'll allow it. Send out
An e-mail blast, commissioner.

342
00:15:34,967 --> 00:15:36,567
All right.

343
00:15:36,567 --> 00:15:39,433
Damn it. Now I gotta come up
With a fantasy football league,

344
00:15:39,433 --> 00:15:41,567
Whatever the hell that is.
Guys, everything okay?

345
00:15:41,567 --> 00:15:44,167
No, everything is
Very much not okay.

346
00:15:44,167 --> 00:15:46,433
You wanna know why?
Uh...

347
00:15:46,433 --> 00:15:48,733
This man just made sweet love
On oz's wife.

348
00:15:48,733 --> 00:15:50,667
What?
 What?

349
00:15:50,667 --> 00:15:53,700
I didn't know it was oz's wife,
And I didn't make sweet anything

350
00:15:53,700 --> 00:15:56,600
On anyone, all right?
The woman used me.

351
00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:59,767
Oz owns a sword.
You do realize that.
Oz isn't gonna find out.

352
00:15:59,767 --> 00:16:03,667
The last thing I'm gonna do is
Get played by amy again.
(thud)

353
00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:09,700
Wanna bet?

354
00:16:09,700 --> 00:16:12,300
I know you guys can't tell
By my face,

355
00:16:12,300 --> 00:16:15,467
But I am shocked right now.

356
00:16:18,167 --> 00:16:20,333
Okay, here's the plan.
It's very risky,

357
00:16:20,333 --> 00:16:22,800
Highly unconventional,
But I think it might just work.

358
00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:25,267
We break into amy's house
This afternoon.

359
00:16:25,267 --> 00:16:27,433
In broad daylight?
That's too risky, man.

360
00:16:27,433 --> 00:16:29,600
Trust me. I know
Who we're dealing with now.

361
00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:31,600
When I was inside amy's house,

362
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:34,000
I got a good look
At her alarm system.

363
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:37,233
It's fingerprint-activated.
Okay, how are we gonna get
Her fingerprint?

364
00:16:37,233 --> 00:16:39,933
We already got it.
 I might've found a lead.

365
00:16:39,933 --> 00:16:42,600
Ooh! Sounds juicy.
Let me see.

366
00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:44,400
(bell dings)

367
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:46,700
(high-pitched voice)
* jackpot

368
00:16:46,700 --> 00:16:48,667
Newbie.

369
00:16:48,667 --> 00:16:50,667
(cameron)
 Every tuesday at 4:00,

370
00:16:50,667 --> 00:16:52,667
She comes home from yoga,
 Makes a smoothie,

371
00:16:52,667 --> 00:16:55,633
Takes a shower.
 That's when we strike.

372
00:16:55,633 --> 00:16:57,133
Head-to-toe rubber.

373
00:16:57,133 --> 00:16:59,400
Try to shock me now,
You old bitch.

374
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:01,667
She's not that old.

375
00:17:05,100 --> 00:17:08,500
(high-pitched whirring)

376
00:17:10,967 --> 00:17:14,767
(beeping)

377
00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:16,433
Come on.

378
00:17:16,433 --> 00:17:18,567
(chirps)

379
00:17:18,567 --> 00:17:20,633
We're good.

380
00:17:20,633 --> 00:17:21,767
Yes!

381
00:17:24,567 --> 00:17:27,500
(whirring)

382
00:17:32,867 --> 00:17:36,200
Well-played, cammy.

383
00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:38,300
(whispering)
This is so exciting.

384
00:17:38,300 --> 00:17:40,367
It's like we're cracking
Al capone's vault.

385
00:17:40,367 --> 00:17:43,633
I wonder what's in there.
(josh) I really hope
It's an oz sex tape.

386
00:17:43,633 --> 00:17:46,433
I bet he goes slow,
Then fast, then slow again.

387
00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:48,333
That's what I'd do.

388
00:17:48,333 --> 00:17:50,767
(beeps)
(melanie) okay.

389
00:17:50,767 --> 00:17:52,967
(lock clicks)

390
00:17:52,967 --> 00:17:54,467
It's a human thumb.

391
00:17:54,467 --> 00:17:57,033
Do all y'all
Have your thumbs?

392
00:17:57,033 --> 00:17:59,100
Seriously, dude?

393
00:17:59,100 --> 00:18:01,267
Flash drive.

394
00:18:01,267 --> 00:18:03,533
Oh, sex tape, sex tape,
Sex tape.

395
00:18:03,533 --> 00:18:06,567
It's not a sex tape.
Come on.

396
00:18:06,567 --> 00:18:10,000
(josh scoffs)
I still say sex tape.

397
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:13,700
Whoa! Uh, sorry.
We--we can come back.

398
00:18:13,700 --> 00:18:16,000
"We"?

399
00:18:17,733 --> 00:18:19,033
Bastards.

400
00:18:19,033 --> 00:18:20,833
Don't just stand there.
Come on in.

401
00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:23,300
There's, uh,
Somebody I'd love you to meet.

402
00:18:23,300 --> 00:18:25,833
(sighs and blows)
Hello.

403
00:18:25,833 --> 00:18:27,467
I'm amy.

404
00:18:27,467 --> 00:18:30,967
Yeah. Amy, hi.
It's a pleasure to meet you,

405
00:18:30,967 --> 00:18:33,500
Now, right
For the very first time.

406
00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:35,533
(grunts)
You're gonna be seeing

407
00:18:35,533 --> 00:18:38,533
A lot more of my wife
Around here.
You mean you've...

408
00:18:38,533 --> 00:18:41,433
Reconciled.
Right on this desk, twice.

409
00:18:41,433 --> 00:18:43,467
Mm. (kisses)
What?

410
00:18:43,467 --> 00:18:45,467
I should get going. Mm.
Mm, okay.

411
00:18:45,467 --> 00:18:48,667
So I'll see you around... What
Did you say your name was again?

412
00:18:48,667 --> 00:18:50,767
Just go.

413
00:18:50,767 --> 00:18:52,267
(sniffs)

414
00:18:54,533 --> 00:18:57,200
She seems nice.

415
00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:59,567
Really?
Yeah.

416
00:18:59,567 --> 00:19:02,067
You, uh, find her
Sexually attractive?

417
00:19:02,067 --> 00:19:05,700
No, no, no.
She's not my type.
So you wouldn't, say,
Pick her up at a panino shop,

418
00:19:05,700 --> 00:19:07,867
Take her out for
A wild night on the town,

419
00:19:07,867 --> 00:19:09,300
I-talian dinner,
Romantic movie,

420
00:19:09,300 --> 00:19:12,700
Top off the evening with
A nice mocha chip fro-yo?

421
00:19:12,700 --> 00:19:15,067
Oh, my...
God.

422
00:19:15,067 --> 00:19:17,467
I know all. I see all.

423
00:19:17,467 --> 00:19:20,267
You know what? If it
Makes you feel any better,

424
00:19:20,267 --> 00:19:23,467
I should probably be
On this site myself.
 (oz) I knew what
 That little minx was up to

425
00:19:23,467 --> 00:19:25,667
The moment she sat down
 With you.

426
00:19:25,667 --> 00:19:28,133
That's why I fitted you
 With that wire.
Take this.

427
00:19:28,133 --> 00:19:31,333
And I gave you those beautiful
 Flowers--romantic for you,

428
00:19:31,333 --> 00:19:33,467
Useful for me.
 Here you go.

429
00:19:33,467 --> 00:19:36,600
Oh, thank you. (sniffs) mmm.

430
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:39,167
Are you freakin' crazy?
You had me date your wife?

431
00:19:39,167 --> 00:19:42,600
What's wrong with you?
I could've slept with her.
Oh, you really think
You had a shot?

432
00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:44,433
That's adorable.
Don't lose that.

433
00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:46,667
All right, fine.
What's on the drive then?

434
00:19:46,667 --> 00:19:50,233
You put us through hell
For this thing. I wanna know.
Let me ask you
A question, kid.

435
00:19:50,233 --> 00:19:52,300
Before you started working
For me, would you

436
00:19:52,300 --> 00:19:55,433
Have described yourself
As a good guy or a bad guy?
Good guy for the most part,

437
00:19:55,433 --> 00:19:59,400
But I hacked for
Whoever paid me.
That's pretty much the situation
With everybody here.

438
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:02,667
We've all done some bad things
In the past, including me,

439
00:20:02,667 --> 00:20:04,833
And it's all
On this thumb drive--

440
00:20:04,833 --> 00:20:08,033
A lot of dirt that can get us
In a lot of trouble.

441
00:20:08,033 --> 00:20:10,800
So this whole time
You were protecting us?

442
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:12,900
I didn't say that.

443
00:20:12,900 --> 00:20:15,633
So that's it? You're gonna
Get back together with amy

444
00:20:15,633 --> 00:20:18,233
Like nothing ever happened?
Look, my relationship with amy

445
00:20:18,233 --> 00:20:20,033
Is a delicate
And disturbing dance.

446
00:20:20,033 --> 00:20:23,033
This is our third split this
Year. I know she's bad for me,

447
00:20:23,033 --> 00:20:26,033
But it's the kind of bad
That feels a little good.

448
00:20:26,033 --> 00:20:29,800
What can I say? Moving on
Is easier said than done.

449
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:32,167
Doors are closing.
Watch your fingers.

450
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,867
Hey.

451
00:20:35,867 --> 00:20:37,033
Hey.

452
00:20:37,033 --> 00:20:38,700
You okay?

453
00:20:38,700 --> 00:20:40,167
Yeah.

454
00:20:40,167 --> 00:20:41,567
Yeah, I'm good.

455
00:20:41,567 --> 00:20:44,733
Good. So do you have any plans
On saturday night?

456
00:20:44,733 --> 00:20:48,733
I thought you could
Do me a favor.
Oh, good. More dogsitting?

457
00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:54,467
Jason mraz?
Yeah, dutch won't go with me.

458
00:20:54,467 --> 00:20:58,233
He thinks the guy
Stole his songs. (sighs)

459
00:20:58,233 --> 00:21:01,400
You in?
The least I could do.

460
00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:03,700
All right.
All right.

461
00:21:03,700 --> 00:21:05,400
Wait.

462
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:07,900
So...

463
00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:09,600
I'll--I'll call you.

464
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:13,233
We'll figure it out.
We'll figure it out.

465
00:21:13,233 --> 00:21:14,333
Yes!

466
00:21:14,333 --> 00:21:17,000
**

467
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,400
Well-played, cameron.

468
00:21:20,633 --> 00:21:22,700
**